Caffe Mac—legend or fact? Does this Shangri-la of no-compromise corporate consumables actually exist? And if Caffe Mac does exist, does its menu roundly trump the “food” we Mac|Life staffers must hunt and gather within the hostile-to-haute-cuisine hinterlands of our own corporate HQ? I was intent on answering these questions during a recent trip to One Infinite Loop. Read on for the full scoop—and don’t miss my paparazzi shots of The Steve!

Jump to the section of your choice below:
Atmosphere/First Impressions
The Steve Descends
Food Review: The Raw Edition
Disposition: All Good Trays Go to Heaven

Atmosphere/First Impressions

For more than 10 years, I’ve suffered talk of Caffe Mac and its abbondanza of delicious food options. As legend has it, this height of schmorga-style dining is located smack dab in the middle of the Apple campus, ready to sate the hunger of a time-challenged work force.

An on-site cafeteria. It must be nice.

Before we get into the review, let me provide some context: On any given day, the typical Mac|Life staffer might be just a single desk-drawer condiment collection away from a Donner Party scenario. If we can’t make it to the taco truck by 12 noon sharp, we are left with the following lunch options: (a) a snack machine, (b) the candy jar intermittently replenished by Human Resources, and (c) what in corporate circles has come to be known as “emergency oatmeal.”

Personally, I also know the whereabouts of a long-forgotten box of apple cider mix packets. One might assume these packets could offer some form of sustenance, or even be used in the fermentation of an alcoholic beverage, Mac|Life’s version of “prison pruno,” which is what it might come to when zombies finally attack.

But an on-site Cafeteria? The mind reels at the implications. And so it was with great anticipation (and even greater jealousy) that I entered the cavernous culinary cornucopia of Caffe Mac.

Oh. My. GOD. My first impression was that I had somehow found my way into the Prepared Foods Department of Whole Foods. Station upon station upon station offered a mind-boggling variety of international cuisine. There were kiosks for burritos, pizza, pasta, sushi, hot entrées, burgers, sandwiches, salads, smoothies, frozen yogurt. They even had a gelato bar.

Then there were the kiosks for Spanish tapas and paellas. For British bangers and mushy peas. For Ethiopian wat and injera bread. And for traditional Inuit preparations of caribou, walrus and seal. Amazing.

OK, truth be told, I didn’t see any kiosks for food from Spain, England, Ethiopia or the Canadian Arctic. But because the Caffe Mac food selection was so incredibly plentiful and varied, I couldn’t help but imagine such exotic cuisines. And, in fact, because this new world order of lunch possibilities was so overwhelming, I found myself paralyzed with indecision. Pizza or past? A sandwich or sushi? Or maybe a bold trifecta of blended and/or frozen delights?

The Apple campus regulars didn’t seem quite so awestruck. The Caffe atmosphere was at a calm, low boil as happy, soon-to-be-well-fed employees gathered in knowing clumps at the more popular food stations. The brick-oven pizza dispensary had a line reaching from Cupertino to Santa Clara—all this despite the fact that the pizzeria was (apparently) no longer making pies to order, a development that (according to rumor) absolutely rocked the Apple work force.
 
By the time my thought-paralysis subsided, I was ready to order a pizza, but the long line (and a tight schedule) sent me elsewhere. What could be faster than raw food? I thought. And so it was to be: My first dining at Caffe Mac would consist of salad and sushi, fitting choices considering The Steve’s well-publicized fondness for vegetarianism and raw foods. Eat as The Steve does. Surely they save the best heirloom tomatoes for The Steve and his vegetarian brethren, right?

Right?